guys are not supposed to queef...right?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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