he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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