did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
