We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
