Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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