I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
