just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
