He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
so let's talk penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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