my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
