wake up i wanna do it froggy style
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
