She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
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