so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
