It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
