I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
