One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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