I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
