I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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