it's like iHOP with fire
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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