dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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