READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
