What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
