yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
