If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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