it wasn't lemon gatorade
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
im having a threesome with these popsicles
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
