Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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