Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
