It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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