if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
