i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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