dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
