I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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