I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize