Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
