You really coming over, don't trick.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
