I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize