I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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