If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
