there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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