Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
