I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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