u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
