So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
