Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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