Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
