Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Damn victory sex feels great
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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