3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Randomize
