It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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