"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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