i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
