Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
