nut hugger
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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