You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
