he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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