Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
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either way he was missing a nipple.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
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