and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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