if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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