I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
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It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
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Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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