Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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