Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
