What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
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