The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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