I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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