You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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